The Break Up
by NoxEtLucem
Summary: AU. In the end, you tend to think about the beginning. You think about all the words you should have said, and about the ones you wish were heard. Especially when you were confessing your love to your drunken neighbor. InuKag. Oneshot!


A/n: Hi, everyone! This is my first Inuyasha fic...please do not be brutal! Haha, I'm actually kind of nervous. If you're reading this because you got an alert and were hoping for another chapter for "The Heir," I am sorry! But I figure if I get this out I can concentrate on that more... Anyway, this actually comes from an original story I wrote in 2006 but I tweaked it to fit. Hope it works out!

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**The Break Up**  
By Enpitsu

**Silence.** It was deafening. She stared up at the man next to her, willing him to look her way. He didn't. That was how it always was. Through the time the couple had been together, that was just how things went.

Kagome quietly sighed and turned her gaze towards the sunlit horizon. Some things would never change, but did he know how much it hurt her? How much she ached whenever he would clam up? The sun was gently resting on the water, tucking itself in for a well deserved rest. She tucked ebony hair behind her ear before gently resting her hand over his.

That got his attention and Kagome's hazel eyes sparked for a second. Inuyasha let his gold irises fall to the petite hand upon his own larger, clawed one. After acknowledging the gesture, he looked back out to the sea. The woman's face fell, but he spoke.

"You told me you had to tell me something. Spit it out." That was him. Ever-crude Inuyasha. Kagome squeezed his hand and sat on the bench, her back facing away from the setting sun. He made no move to follow her, which she was used to as well.

"Inuyasha, you know I love you," she quietly started, blushing slightly. During the time she had known him, through thick and thin, he always had the ability to make her flustered without saying a word.

"I do," Inuyasha simply replied. He glanced down at her as she flinched somewhat. Was she flinching at his words? He continued to stare at her, silence getting the better of him. Kagome broke it.

"I love you and don't ever doubt that," she continued. Kagome took a deep breath to brace herself. "Sometimes I can't help but think you don't feel the same way."

She said it fast and to the point, much like an assassin would kill their prey. Inuyasha frowned, inky eyebrows creasing somewhat.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked her, turning to face her. _How could she think that I don't love her?_ The woman flinched once more, eyes to her lap.

"You never say you love me," Kagome quietly said, feeling the pang of tears pull at her eyes. She continued to avert her gaze from Inuyasha's face. The man rolled his own eyes in spite of the situation.

"What are you saying? I _do_ tell you I love you," he said to her, trying to peer at her. _I love you more than you know, Kagome_. He knew very well she was going to cry. He hated seeing her like that, but why couldn't he tell her? It was his biggest problem in the world.

"Only when we . . .," she trailed off, blushing. She could never bring herself to say it, but she knew he was aware of what the meaning was. Her mind momentarily drifted to their most intimate moments – lips dancing in time, hands everywhere, bodies flush against each other. He ran his fingers through his silver hair and blew out a heavy breath.

"That's not the only time!" Inuyasha replied, getting frustrated. Not with her, but at his inability to tell her what was on his mind. Kagome continued to play with imaginary lint on her jeans, bathing them in a hush too thick to swim in. Finally, she spoke.

"Say it now, then."

"What?" the man asked, his heart missing a beat. She turned her face to look at him, right in the eye.

"Say you love me, but only if you mean it." Inuyasha silently cursed, knowing very well that was his Achilles Heel. Not loving her, but words.

Silence overtook them once more and Kagome looked back down at her lap. Inuyasha rest his elbows on the railing in front of him and rubbed his face with his hands. Tension. It was stifling. Neither of them knew how to begin. Kagome was tired of doing all of the talking and Inuyasha just didn't know how to tell her how he really felt. This was how it always was.

He thought back to when he met her. Nine years ago, way back when they were twelve. He moved into the house adjacent to her own and their parents had become quick friends. Why was he always so tongue-tied around her? Maybe it was the fact that she took his breath away, especially when she gave him her first smile. Though they were both pre-teens at the time, Inuyasha thought of her as the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He didn't even think he could have those thoughts back then.

Turns out she already had her eyes on someone else. Some guy who had no idea how to really treat her. That didn't stop her from loving him until she was seventeen, almost eighteen to be exact. Who was there to pick up the pieces? _He_ was. Though he may not have been a good talker, he was a damn good listener.

If only that's all he really needed to do in a relationship. There was nothing hard about listening and Inuyasha knew Kagome could count on him for that.

_Three Years Ago..._

He woke up to some rustling outside of his window. He was half awake to the rustling and the muttered insults at a trash can, but his eyes snapped open when he saw who it was that was wobbling under his window in a hysterical stupor. He frowned and promptly pulled his window up to stare at her.

"What the hell are you doing?" Even before he met Kagome, he had been the strong, silent-unless-need-be kind of guy. He could never forget the look on her face when he got her attention.

She was obviously dressed in her house clothes: grey sweats, a shirt, and a zip-up hoodie. Her hair was messily tied into a loose pony-tail and all she was wearing on her feet were her socks, but he didn't care. Her face almost brought him to tears. Kagome's eyes were red from so much crying and her expression was what sealed the deal. She was utterly lost, without a purpose or reason why she was outside her admirer's second floor window.

Inuyasha stealthily made his way downstairs and outside, where Kagome had no problem draping herself over him. A strange odor made the young hanyou wrinkle his nose in disbelief. "Kagome, have you been drinking?"

The slur of a mixed giggle and groan was enough for an answer. Inuyasha sighed and gently picked her up, bridal style, a light blush marching its way across his cheeks. The young woman buried her face into his shoulder as he made his way up the stairs. He just hoped his dad wouldn't take his nightly trek to the restroom at this time. It would be a very awkward situation if so.

Kagome was mumbling something incoherent when he let her lie against his propped up pillows. Shaking his head, he pulled his chair up to the bedside and stared at her for a moment. Her normally bright eyes were clouded over and unfocused, staring at an unseen spot on his sheets. In a moment known only for its elusiveness, Inuyasha broke the silence first.

"Kagome, how did you even get any–?"

"Am I not good enough?" she suddenly interrupted, waving her hands about. The young man raised an eyebrow at her inquiry. He shook his head at her actions.

"Good enough for what? Booze?" he replied, giving her a strange look. At first he thought she was going to yell at him, but instead of doing that, she broke down into tears.

"Kouga broke up with me!" she cried loudly, throwing one of Inuyasha's pillows across the room. It hit his trophy from something in elementary school, which ended up falling to the floor. He winced and when Kagome started to whine once more, he gently put a hand over her mouth, mindful of his claws. She was giving him a defiant struggle, but he would have to bear with it. If his parents found Kagome in his room in the state she was in, parents would tell parents, who would tell other family and friends, who would tell the entire student body, who would tell everyone else in the world. To put it simply, there would definitely be some problems he didn't have the patience to deal with.

He put a finger over his lips to show her danger, and she eventually settled down. That was one thing he adored about Kagome. She was so simple sometimes, didn't ask any irrelevant questions. There wasn't anything at all frustrating about her. She awoke a calm within him whenever she was around.

He pulled his hand away, when he was sure his father wouldn't come barging in, and Kagome was silent. He stared at her for a few seconds, wondering if the storm had passed, when she let her head fall back on his pillow with a cry. She made no other sound afterwards though, so the young man took that as a permission to speak.

"He broke up with you," Inuyasha simply stated. His voice was shaking. Not because he was going to cry. He was seriously going to kick someone's ass by the time this whole heart to heart was over. How could he do that to her? She was perfect. She was everything any sane guy would want. Kouga was just too damn blinded by his own narcissism to even notice. "When was this?"

"This morning . . . before school," Kagome said, sniffling slightly. She wiped at her eyes and let out a lingering sigh. "He said that even after three years, I just wasn't good enough for him."

He accidentally ripped a pillow he had been holding. Inuyasha was about to erupt when the young woman on his bed beat him to it.

"Is that true? Am I so awful that the guy I thought loved me had to leave me?" she cried, sitting up to peer into his face. Caught off guard by the sudden decrease of space between them, the young man froze, mouth open. She grabbed his strong shoulders and shook them hysterically. "Do I not deserve to be loved back–?"

She had been shouting, but Inuyasha found a way to settle her down. Knowing not what else to do, he held her face firmly, but gently, between his hands and shrunk the distance between them to zero. He pulled away from her, eyes full of emotions he never had a chance to show. He knew if there was any time to confess his feelings, it would be now.

"Don't you ever doubt yourself. You're the most perfect girl any guy could want and it was Kouga's mistake to let you go. He may not have seen how wonderful you are, but I do. I see it every day and I can't help but want to shout at you when you can't even see the beauty in yourself." Inuyasha seemed to be surprised at himself even, by the look on his face. Both teens were completely frozen, staring at each other, until he swallowed his pride once more.

"You're the best girl that a guy could ask for... You were too good for Kouga. You're too good for me," he said lowly, cupping her smooth cheek in his hand. Kagome's eyes watered once more as she put her fingers onto his.

"What are you trying to say?" she asked him quietly. Her eyes started to droop though, and he knew he would have to make it quick.

"I'm trying to say...I love you. I've loved you since the first time I even caught a glimpse of you. After all this time I just wanted you to know." On the inside, Inuyasha cringed. Did he really just say all of that out loud? And to his best friend, the girl of his dreams? Kagome's lips slowly crept into a lop-sided smile.

"Inuyasha, I..."

It was too late. She had fallen asleep.

The young man let his head drop down, the dog ears on top of his head flattening. The only time he had something to say, she fell asleep! It only makes sense, since he always seemed to have bad timing with her. He set her down gently on his mattress, and afterwards, proceeded to silently curse himself.

A glance at the clock. It was four in the morning. His eyes traveled to the slumbering form on his bed and softened from their previously rock state. He blew out a breath and rubbed his face. There was just something about her that calmed him down.

Inuyasha resolved to sitting in his disk chair. As he rest his cheek in his hand, he gave a small smile. Maybe it was better that he did say something. Maybe there would be a change.

He woke up to her throwing up in his bathroom. Quick glance at the clock. Five forty-five in the morning. He rubbed his eyes and made his way over to hold her hair out of the way. He never thought he'd ever have to hold Kagome Higurashi's hair while she had her head in a toilet. Not in high school, anyway. When she was done, she sunk to his bathroom floor and he took the pleasure of flushing the toiled for her. She was rubbing her forehead, so he joined her.

"So," he said. That was all he could muster. It seemed like after he confessed all of his feelings, he didn't have anything else to say. Kagome groaned and she peered at him through bleary eyes. Her wavy hair was even more disarray but he still thought she looked radiant.

"Sorry about all of this, Inuyasha," she mumbled, getting frustrated with her hair and pushing it out of the way. Crossing his arms and leaning against something, he shook his head.

"Don't worry." Again, with the wordy answers. Inuyasha fought the urge to punch himself when Kagome gave him a tiny smile.

"About last night..."

_Here it comes_. The young man was panicking on the inside, casually indifferent on the outside. His eyes met her own and held them, hazel gripping gold. _So what is she gonna say?_

"Thanks for listening to me, you know, cry about everything," Kagome said sheepishly, drawing small circles on the tile with her fingertip. "And sorry I fell asleep when you were talking...what were you saying?"

Inuyasha almost choked. She didn't even remember what he had said to her? All that effort was for nothing? She was giving him that cute stare though-even if it was laced with intoxication-so he couldn't be mad at her. Rubbing his head, he gave a lopsided kind of smile, showing his fangs.

"I don't remember. 'Guess it wasn't important," he told her, shrugging. Kagome tilted her head, though the action seemed to bring her some pain. She put a hand to her head.

"Are you sure?" Another smile to her curious look.

"Yeah."

It seemed like she didn't believe him at first but, she never knew him as someone to lie.

"Okay, Inuyasha. If you say so."

_Present Day_

He supposed the whole reason why he had such a hard time telling her how he felt was because he already said everything he could to her. She had no idea that he loved her way before she even felt that way about him. Looking away from the set sun, Inuyasha turned to Kagome, who was quietly crying on the bench. It was just one of those times when he would have to swallow his pride. If the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with was about to walk away, he wasn't about to let her.

Sitting down next to her, Inuyasha gently took Kagome's hands away from her face. Like pulling his own teeth, he said, "Kagome, I'm sorry I've given you feelings to doubt how I feel about you. I really do...love you."

There, he said it. Still sniffling, the woman looked up at him through teary eyes. Knowing very well that once he started, he wouldn't be able to stop, Inuyasha went on.

"It breaks my heart to know that I'm making you cry, and I really am sorry. I love you with all my heart and for even longer than you even know. I've never been good at telling you how I feel and I blame myself for that. You're by girlfriend, one of my _best_ friends, and I should be able to say anything to you. I don't know why I don't tell anyone anything though and...I know I have to change that..." He kissed her on the forehead. "I apologize for any and every time I've hurt you."

He drew her into a hug and knowing very well this could be the last time he held her, he spoke once more. "I want to stay with you, but the choice is yours. It's up to you if you want to give me another chance. But if you do, I'll spend the rest of my life making up these past years to you."

Inuyasha knew it was slim. He wouldn't blame her if she left him in the cold dust. All Kagome did was look up gradually turn her eyes down ward. He would have to wait for a definite answer, but it was possible. The two of them were always bathed in silence so it was almost sweet normalcy.

But Kagome wound her arms around Inuyasha at that moment, and he sighed into her. He buried his face into her hair, taking in her fragrance, not at all ashamed of his greed. They were quiet for another few moments until he brought himself to speak. "I love your smell. And I love you."

"I love you too, Inuyasha," Kagome quietly said. She laughed a little and her lover pulled back a little to see her face.

"What is it?" he asked, worry laced in his eyes. She shrugged and a little smile pulled at her lips.

"I could get used to hearing that. And I'm just curious," she started. "You said you've loved me a long time. Since when?"

Inuyasha chuckled to himself and sat on the bench next to her, his arm around her shoulders. He was supposed to talk, wasn't he? He took a deep breath, steeling himself for the difficult task, but determined to make it work, especially if it meant keeping Kagome around. It was a long story, but he would tell her, no matter how embarrassing it could get.

"It all started the first time you smiled…"

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A/n: I'm not really sure how I feel about the time transitions. As in, just flat out saying it like that. Was that okay? Was everything else okay? I tried my best to see everything was in order, but it's been about years (wow, just...wow) since I last published something. That's also another reason why I was nervous to publish, I suppose.

Wah, hopefully you enjoyed the read. Thanks for reading and please review? -smiles-


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